Good day my lovely deviants, and welcome yet again to Jack’s Sack. If you’re just joining us here, this is where I review different adult toys deviants send me in the mail! Ain’t that neat? If you missed our last entry, you can read it here. Today we’re going to be discussing a real handful that I received last week.
Ballad Of The Booty Lover
So.
Ass.
All ass is good ass. Flat ass, round ass, bubble butts and those with cellulite. Ass covered in hair, ass laid bare by Nair. For every ass is unique, a work of art built by diet and exercise unique to each person. No ass is ugly. No, dear reader, not even your ass. Give it a smack if you don’t believe me.
Every ass is beautiful, though there’s nothing wrong with having preferences. Me personally? I like a big, fat round ass. You probably can tell as much by following me on twitter. I can’t say exactly where my love for big asses came from. Maybe it’s from enjoying doggy, maybe it’s from the sheer textural joy of watching a butt jiggle when I grip it. But I’ve always enjoyed massive round asses. The bigger the better, and there’s no such thing as too big.
About a year or two ago, a dear friend actually sent me a toy shaped like an ass in the mail. I loved it! Being able to grip the cheeks and give into the primal, guttural want to fill the toy was a joy (so was being able to do so raw, but I digress). I spent many days filling, fucking and slapping the ass around. I still have it as well, put up with several of my other toys. However, as I was surfing amazon one day I came across a model that was even bigger.
Fondlove’s foray into the market is fourteen pounds of pure booty. It’s a simply massive thing, very close to being life sized for what would be a more lithe partner. I sat there staring at it for a full ten minutes, kind of giggling to myself at the audacity of it. It wasn’t the only of it’s type on the market. What’s more, it certainly wasn’t the only one I’d have like it. But I couldn’t keep myself from adding it to my wishlist. It was just so audacious that I couldn’t not do it.
And lo, it was at my doorstep a short while later.
To Cup, To Feel
Fondlove’s big, honkin’ huge ridiculous butt arrived at my doorstep inside of a standard amazon box. Within the amazon box was another incredibly non-descript box that looked like something a power supply for a gaming computer would ship in. The sides and bottom of that box were bulging a bit, and I could feel the toy wobbling within. As soon as I noticed that, I started laughing. God, I thought, this thing is fucking huge I bet.
I wasn’t wrong. After opening the second box, I found the toy sealed in a plastic bag. Alongside it was a ceramic “cleaning” rod (typically, you insert these after washing your toy to absorb moisture) and a sales circular for Fondlove featuring their other products. I was surprised there weren’t instructions, but I think at this point in this series I kinda-sorta might know what to do from here. I snipped the top of the plastic bag and pulled my toy out.
The ass weighed every bit of forteen pounds, with a palpable heft and weight to it that felt real. If you’ve ever cupped someone’s ass as they’re laying down or something similar, Fondlove’s ass reacted just as naturally. The weight will likely catch several users by surprise, though once it’s upon a surface it also is very unlikely to slip, slide or fall away like other toys. Likewise, the sculpt is incredibly realistic. Fondlove’s offering features hip bones, a really well sculpted vagina, proper anus placement and more. Oiling or lubing the surface of the unit makes the skin texture really pop, too.
I ended up filming two clips with this unit over on Fansly. You can watch those here and here. I also conducted a semi-live audio test of the unit, which you can listen to here. As seen in the footage, this is a big toy that easily eclipses my massive hands. I didn’t quite have a stool high enough to let me fuck the unit laying flat, so I had to physically stand over the toy and piledrive my cock into it. I tested both the anus and vaginal canals on air, and quickly got winded.
Later, I ended up laying the unit in my bed and topping it. I’m going to confess openly right now that pressing into its folds with my eyes closed was damn close to the real thing. I found myself instinctually reaching for it’s hips so I could breed it’s cunt deeper. Pulling out and swapping between both the canals was a joy, and before long I’d left a splatterific mess across it’s stomach. Worth noting as well-while the toy is indeed tight, it had no problem taking my entire length. Often with certain companies their products can take my girth just fine, but I literally hit a wall with full thrusts. I experienced no such issues with this toy with either canal.
After making a royal mess of the thing, I decided the easiest way to clean it would be to take it in the tub with me and scrub it clean. It was a wonderful, relaxing way to kill an afternoon. Much as with other rubber strokers, warm water and toy cleaner was more than enough to get this unit clean again. I recommend leaving it “standing” with both canals open over a towel to ensure no moisture gets trapped inside. Remember gang, moisture is the enemy of proper toy maintenance.
Additional Usage
As anyone that’s seen my video content can attest, I enjoy using more lifelike toys as “co-stars” when filming. I’ve used the faux breasts that were sent to me, Sasha Grey’s mouth and a lot more. With the COVID pandemic still in full swing, I’ve found this to be a safe alternative to including co-stars that much of my audience still finds highly erotic. Using lifelike toys can fill a great role without having to get into the weeds with proper adult content filming. You don’t have to ask a toy for STI clearance from a doctor and vaccination records. You’re not going to endanger a toy’s life because some idiot thinks the plague we’re facing isn’t real and came to set that day.
Using more lifelike toys on set is also a challenge to individual performers, as it’s on you to make that toy seem lifelike. It’s not just in their use either; How you speak towards the toy, touch it and caress it are all a part of selling a performance. Refer to them as your co-stars, for they’re nothing less. Likewise, keep in mind the purpose of your co-star is to make you look good. And you want to look good, don’t you?
In conclusion, I am very satisfied with Fondlove’s big mchuge honking donk. It was a wonderful lover and looked great on film. It’s easy to clean, it’s sculpted well, and it was wonderful to have someone riding my girth again. If you’ve the coin, space or simply are looking for a toy that’s a bit more, I can’t recommend this enough.
Enjoy, deviants.
-j