Joyful Stick: My Breast Friend Sally, Breeding Village and Mirror
Ah, the holidays.
A glorious time of the year when we’re forced indoors, dragged to boring social events and coerced into trying food from relatives we hate. Freetime becomes like Schrodinger’s cat-endless yet constantly occupied by the minutiae of tradition. December is always my slowest and most stressed time of the year. I walk a man strapped to the teeth with dynamite, a deadman’s switch one single Christmas Carol away from being tripped. This year has only felt even more like a vice upon my psyche. Like all of you, I desperately seek any sort of escape from the jolly holly hellworld we wake to the moment Thanksgiving dinner has been cleared.
Now, not all traditions are god awful. Some can be quite delightful and beneficial for us. Especially if we can manage them with one hand.
Every year, I troll Steam for games to play. Always something casual, always something relaxing. A title being pornographic isn’t a must, but if it is? All the better. I’ve long since given up fears of death, god and Krampus finding me. My steam library lays my sins bare for Santa to see. This year, I once again dared the sticky plunge into the depths for something, anything to take my mind off the holidays.
Now, Steam isn’t the platform it used to be. More specifically, they altered their “Adult Content” policy since I last wrote an entry like this. Steam is more or less the wild west. While this is fantastic for the indy games scene, the lack of quality control becomes incredibly fucking apparent when it comes to pornographic titles. There’s a depth to the catalogue that rivals the marianna’s trench. Yet, navigating any of it can take hours without the help of curation. Between every greenlit title and early access game lies the endless void of asset flipping and titles stuck in development hell.
So-at the suggestion of a very kind deviant-I present the following three titles reviewed in full (when possible). These are not necessarily great games, but for their costs might aid you as they aided me.
My Breast Friend Sally
My Breast Friend Sally is a kinetic visual novel with a focus on lactation, boobs, breeding and comedy. It features a fully voiced cast, pretty wonderful art and is playable well under half an hour. Developer Lewd Mewd focused on quality rather than length with this title, and it shows from the moment you hit start.
Sally is a mostly human cowgirl that resides on a farm, and serves as the narrator. While she isn’t the only lady looking to let off some steam after salaciously looking at the boss’s nephew, she’s the titular star and gets the most screen time. Throughout the game, the player serves as a voyeur to the events save for the occasional click. The only character that seems to acknowledge you is the rooster, who assures us “this farm is full of SLUTS!”
It’s quite true-Sally is in heat and deep need of milking. The entire workday focuses on just getting the nephew she’s been hitting on to touch her.
It’s readily apparent five minutes into the game what’s going to happen. If you’re looking for narrative depth, complex story arcs, satisfying character development or anything close to an actual “story” you’re going to be left wanting. This is not a “deep” title. Lewd Mewd directed the game from the ground up to be over the top and cheesy. From the (surprisingly included) voice work to the flow of the “work day”, there’s not a single fence post or facial expression that doesn’t lean into the “sexy but goofy” shtick. However, the game feels fun. The jokes land despite being groan inducing. The art is clean, detailed and arousing.
The one real gripe I have is the voice acting. I’m incredibly fucking biased and aware of my own delivery, but sometimes the actors lean so far into goofy territory you can’t help but roll your eyes. There were several times that were I directing the cast (or acting in it myself) I’d have gone for another take. But, that’s kind of the point. The title isn’t aiming to be serious-it wants to show you boobies and big throbbing anthromorphic horse cock. If you want to play with the game on mute though? I’d not fault you.
Throughout the game you’ll unlock photobooth items to pose Sally in either during or after your session. There’s likewise some polaroid snaps of certain characters you can unlock featuring the best stills in the game. While the game is overwhelmingly hetronormative, it’s not a bad experience. For six dollars, you can do a hell of a lot worse.
No, really. You can do so fucking much worse.
Breeding Village
What can ten dollars buy you?
While that seems no large sum to a few of you, ten bucks is ten bucks. That’s a meal at a fast food place. That’s half a tank of gas or more. That’s a six pack of beer. A rental for a great movie you can watch with friends. A pack of smokes and a candy bar. While all of these things aren’t necessarily life enriching, they’re far more enjoyable than Breeding Village could ever aspire to be.
I want you to imagine if a neural network created an entire hentai after ten thousand hours of studying titles exclusively from the late nineties/early two thousands. Whatever eldritch horror comes crawling with cum pouring out of it’s ass towards you proclaiming itself “OUTPUT! OUUUUTPUT!” at least has the decency to be interesting. Breeding Village is not interesting. It’s the pornographic equivalent of a middle-school boys fantasies given code. That’s to say it’s not only boring, but trite and generic across the board. To have the audacity to charge ten dollars for such a thing is outrageous when plenty of sex workers make custom content for less, myself included.
Breeding Village stars a generic male “no-face” lead who decides to quit his office job to move to-you guessed it-a village. Only this particular village is full of buxom milfy mommies with big milkies in deep need of breeding. As it’s a kinetic visual novel, you can comfortably play through the generically anime styled stills as you read thrilling dialogue like “Splurt! Splurt!” and “Why baby making, of course!”. This would be otherwise okay if absolutely any of the female stars had any sort of personality whatsoever. For however brief My Breast Friend Sally was, every single character felt unique from others even while leaning into tropes. I literally cannot recall a single one of the girls from Breeding Village, much less any aspects of their constantly-recycled anatomy. You could swap their forgettable hairstyles and tell me it was a different game entirely, and I’d believe you.
This is a sampling of the worst for adult content on Steam. It’s not engaging, it’s not unique, and it most of all it’s just fucking boring. Ten dollars can buy you a lot, especially during a Steam Sale. I couldn’t help but think of the foregone forty ounces that would have brought me far more joy than this dreck could in a single evening. And I don’t mean good forties, I’m talking about King Cobra.
Mirror
After playing through Breeding Village, I was in a fucking haze. I didn’t know if I had the strength to continue this little venture. Screaming internally that I had to produce some written content though, I opted for a dose of Cobra courage and barreled ahead. Mirror was the last on my list, and my hopes weren’t high. I’d dived into each of these titles totally blind and was feeling the whiplash. Okay, maybe that was the forty.
I was pleasantly surprised.
Mirror is the natural evolution of the design Hunie Pop blatantly ripped off from Bejeweled. It’s a gem-matching puzzler with RPG-styled elements that come into play as you “fight” the girls. Unlike Breeding Village, Mirror features a fully fleshed out cast of girls. While each is arguably a trope, they’re unique from each other narratively and design-wise. Each of the girls features a unique story to their chapter, and all feature a BDSM “touch and discipline” style reward oddly reminiscent of those Meet n’ Fuck games from Newgrounds.
Despite being a bunch of elements tossed into a blender set on high, Mirror is both engaging and rewarding to play. Every time you win a match, a bit more narrative is delivered for that girls chapter. Win three games, and a girls “heart” will be filled enough for some heavy petting, whipping and shibari. Every chapter is unique, and thus you won’t be compelled to follow an overarching narrative. This is precisely the relaxing, free-form experience I was looking for with this series.
Fully voiced in japanese and with a crisp art style, the game also features a depth of fetish material unavailable with the other titles featured here. There’s something here for everyone-so long as it’s kinda-sorta adjacent to BDSM and cute girls.
I should mention right now that the game features censoring and is still in “early access”. There’s various patches available to de-censor the game, but I will not list them here. The censoring isn’t obtrusive and is actually really cute. Despite that “early access” tagline, I find mirror to be a fully developed and bug-free product.
You can get all this for the tidy sum of two dollars. For all the incredible offense I felt at Breeding Village’s price, you would be hard pressed to find entertainment this cheap with this much value. Even if you’re just into puzzlers, this is well worth the price of admission.
Clean Your Fucking Keyboard
That’s all for now my lovely deviants. While I can make no promises to how often this series will appear, it is far more likely to happen with suggestions at my socials-orrrrr gifting me titles on my Steam library. If you purchase a game for me, I will absolutely do a review.
Take care, and stay warm out there.
-j