Splat Speaks Episode 1000: Let’s Make History

One thousand episodes. 

Holy fucking shit, how the hell did I even get here?

There’s so many hours of me talking on SoundCloud right now that you could, if motivated, build a neural network from the audio and entirely automate Splat Speaks. I’ve a folder where I store all audio, including commissions and patreon rewards. Backing that thing up is a major hassle because it’s over 50 gig of data. That’s more audio of just me speaking than the entire time I did podcasting. 

And we did it all in a little under 2 years. 

I say we because it’s the truth. We did this, not just me. I’ve said it since the beginning, and I’ll reiterate it here:

Splathouse absolutely would not be possible without all of you. My lovely, endlessly supportive deviants. I actually get really scared when I think about what my life would be like were it not for all of you. 

So.

With episode 1000 looming close and coming fast. 

I think it’s time I gave you all a chance to be in the spotlight right alongside me. Think of it as a curtain call for the first act of…whatever kind of play it is my life has become. 

Episode 1000 is going to star YOU. 

I have been thinking for well over half a year what to do with Episode 1000 of splat speaks. I went through scripts, practical effects and even talking to a few voice actors. The idea I kept coming back to, the one that felt so natural, was giving all of you a chance to speak. It’s what I personally wanted most. 

So, here’s the details. We’re going to give this a deadline of October 20th, because I’ve other machinations for October. If you get this in late, it’s entirely dependent upon where I’m at with editing if your submission will get in or not. All submissions will be listened to before they’re added into the episode as well

  • 1-2 minutes of you accepting an “award”. Feel free to get as ridiculous and over the top as you want. You may, or may not, insert any additional details you want like your name, socials, an episode you “co-produced” (sent in as a request) and more. 
  • Submit this as a .WAV format file via your preferred sharing application (g-drive, etc). 
  • YES, YOU MAY EDIT IT AND ADD SOUND EFFECTS AND MORE.
  • Send it to me PREFERABLY VIA TWITTER, though my discord is available upon request. DMs are open either way.

That’s it. That’s all you have to do. Simple enough right? After October 20th, I’ll splice everything I got together and post it up on all the usual spots. 

Thank you all again so very much for not only being here for me, but your kindness, your humor, and your patience. My heart swells and beats louder with all of you here. 

-j

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