Good day my lovely deviants. Welcome to Jack’s Sack. Miss the last entry? You can read it here. Today is going to be another multi-toy review, with a focus on strokers. Let’s begin.
Call Me Mario With The Way I Jump Tubes
Alright, I’m going to be totally honest for a moment.
The sex toy market is a bit intimidating, especially if you’re new to it. There’s a dizzying amount of variety for every budget and body type. You can grab great toys for under thirty bucks, or ball out for hundreds. Yet there’s still a degree of mystery with the whole thing. You never truly know how a toy is going to feel until it’s actually in use. It’s not like toy makers or amazon do returns either (thank the gods).
Finding the right sex toy for you only grows more aggrevating as well when you realize that so many designs are similar. Dildos are all rods, strokers are all tubes. There’s exceptions (looking at you, fantasy toy makers) but most toys follow the same basic idea. Since there’s no “sampling” to speak of, how do you know one toy is going to feel better than another?
Most manufacturers include dimensions and bright, high quality photos of their products. Which is great, but it lacks the tactile knowledge of the product. Let’s be real, too-it’s not like you’re busting out the ruler hunting for toys, right? Personally speaking, there’s been several times that even knowing the dimensions of a toy I was still too big. The material wasn’t pliable enough, or was too stretchy. I’ve come dangerously close to piercing toys simply because the walls were too thin.
Seeing and feeling a toy in person was something you could do pre-COVID. If you were lucky enough to have a sex shop nearby (and the guts to go). But now? I don’t know about you all, but I’m not risking it.
Circumstances being what they are, finding the right toy (if it’s available) in this market can be a chore. As such, I’m taking today’s entry to focus specifically on strokers. While every product is arguably similar, it’s the minor variations that make each unique. I’m hoping by highlighting these it gives you lovely deviants something to focus on with your hard earned cummies.
Let’s begin.
Getting The Good Suck During The Suck of A Pandemic
If the name “Doc Johnson” sounds familiar, congrats! You’ve a boomer in your family.
Doc Johnson has been around literally since before most of us were alive. They’re one of the more familiar american brands, appearing in AARP magazine and others. I in absolutely no way mean this as an insult. In fact, I’m very happy to see toy companies endure and thrive in the industry. And you know what? I hope I’m still healthy enough at 60 to have an erection.
All the same, DJ has been around forever as a brand. They’ve a deep catalog full of toys, but it’s their ultraskyn that tends to be the most popular. The “ultraskyn” name comes from the materials itself, a blend of TPE medical grade rubber that’s both soft and super easy to clean. If you’re looking for a packer? I’d start here. In my experience, Ultraskyn stuff tends to be soft enough to accommodate the girthiest cocks-but also strong enough to withstand hard use.
I fuck toys like I’m being shipped off to war the next day. Ultraskyn stuff is one of the few lines that more or less retain their shape despite multiple sessions.
Which brings me to these two products: The ultraskyn super sucker and the helping head BJ helper. I’m a huge fan of giving and receiving oral. I’d almost prefer eating my partner out to fucking them. However, receiving oral when you’re single in the middle of a pandemic is. Well.
I’m not looking to rock this fit any time soon. It’s way too fucking hot in NC right now.
Anyone who has received a blowjob knows there’s as much variance in technique as there is in the toy market. The sloppy toppy in the jalopy, the Hoover, the lollipop. All have their application-but we’ve often our preferences. Me? I love sloppy head. Fucking loud and all over the place is what gets my rocks off. If you can get me doing the jumpman pose on the mattress, I’ll melt in your mouth.
I’m pleased to say both of these strokers mimic the feeling of a good, sloppy blow job in their own ways. The super sucker is molded with a faint pair of lips and a wide base, with a generous hole that goes all the way through. It’s not a tight toy, and that’s not a bad thing at all. Rather, by having a more open cavern it’s a much closer mimic to the feel of a mouth. If you want to mimic a partner sucking their lips in around you, it’s as simple as tightening your grip. Plus, the bass is wide enough to slap on the counter or wherever and go to town. It’s not gonna move unless you move it.
The BJ helper, though made of Ultraskyn as well, is a radically different toy. It’s meant to help during an oral session by adding extra sensation to the shaft. It’s soft, with a gentle bumpy interior. In practice, your partner could use this to stroke you while stimulating the head of your cock. However, this doesn’t mean you can’t use it solo. I found it wonderful for teasing and stimulating my glans, and quite receptive when I couldn’t hold back anymore. I think there’s something to be said for having a small, discrete toy you can pack away as well. If you’re someone into using toys in public, this is a great sub-ten dollar option.
Two toys from the same exact product line had totally different uses. While both are wonderful, I feel these two illustrate how even similar products can feel and handle differently. Keep this in mind when shopping with one manufacturer.
It Ain’t Easter But I’m Packing Juevos
Hey, remember the Tenga Easy-Beat egg review?
I sure do. The Tenga eggs were fun and filled an interesting niche-allegedly “one time use” strokers that were ultra discrete. They came in a variety of textures, and I managed to try two for that review. I was always curious about the others-and a deviant was generous enough to send me a literal carton of them. I had absolutely no idea there were that many varieties of the eggs whatsoever. As it turns out, there’s a pretty big list of ones to try. Purchasing them by the carton is roughly $6 dollars cheaper, depending on the seller.
Tenga eggs are the thinnest and most pliable toys I’ve tried. This again is entirely by design-you’re supposed to use them once and toss them. In a world where we are all more health conscious than ever, I understand the intention. I think it’s also worth mentioning that this idea also opens up the possibility for people with STIs to use toys in a safe manner. However, this begs the question of long term use and loss of sensation. It’s an understandable concern-I myself have almost pierced the wall of several of these eggs by pulling them all the way down my shaft.
Yet, I enjoy the easy-beat eggs. By being so thin you’ve more control over how much sensation you actually feel via your grip. There’s far, far more variety in textures than I’ve seen in other lines. While some are more effective than others, there’s still a palpable texture against your glans and shaft. The easy-beat egg series really shines if you enjoy having your head stimulated more than the rest of your cock. I particularly enjoyed the silky, clicker and wavy textures. With the carton, you’ve a brand new way to cum every single day for almost a week if you so desire. Variety is the spice of life, and if you’re in the market for something stretchy this is still a very solid choice.
However, Tenga absolutely isn’t the only manufacturer making egg style strokers.
Lovetoy is a company I hadn’t heard of before, but their Training Master climax spiral egg managed to arrive at my door. They’ve several in this line, though not with the breadth of variety Tenga has. There’s some massive differences between the two manufacturers you’ll notice right away.
Lovetoy’s offering is both physically larger and thicker than Tengas. It’s meant for full shaft stimulation as opposed to Tenga’s glans focus with optional stroking. Lovetoy’s eggs are also meant for repeated use from the start, as opposed to Tenga strongly hinting you toss the egg after use. Lastly, Lovetoy’s eggs are completely clear, as opposed to Tengas which are milky white until stretched.
I’m going to state right now, both of these products have their applications. Tengas offering is far more discrete, as it’s roughly the size of a plastic easter egg. Lovetoys can’t be hidden nearly as well (it’s slightly smaller than an ostrich egg in the container), but can take more punishment. Both are incredibly affordable with a price difference of a few dollars. Both can be used again and again with proper care. Both are exceptionally easy to clean-you simply flip them inside out and wash as you always would.
However, I’m leaning towards Lovetoy’s offering. Not because it’s new-rather, because it has almost the same pliability of the tenga eggs and can take me. While testing the toy, I was able to stretch it nearly a foot from my tip. The spirals were intense upon my cock, and the toy snapped back into shape without so much as a single stretch mark. I continued to fuck the toy, watching my cock throb within. When I came, I watched as it’s interior was painted white. I’m partial to clear toys for that last detail alone. It’s fun being able to see what I’m doing to my toys! While Tengas walls are “clear” during use as well, Lovetoys had much more of a “window”.
For the price, I recommend buying both. You’ll get multiple toys for well under $30 dollars and hours of enjoyment. I also think there’s the possibility for an adult themed easter egg hunt here, but I’ll leave that to kinky Pinterest moms and people with a social life.
A Sticky Finale
Phew!
We’re officially caught up on most of the toys I’ve got in the mail. There’s one sitting on my desk right now-and it’s got an interior that keeps teasing me.
But for now? I think it’s time for a hot shower, and some rest. Take care deviants.
I love you all.
-j