Jack’s Sack: The Whole Sha-Bang
Good day my lovely deviants, and welcome to Jack’s Sack. Miss the last entry? Of course you did, it was nearly a month ago. Today, we’ve SEVERAL toys to review. Get comfy and pull your ankles back. We’re going in deep.
Why The Delay?
I owe you all a bit of an apology.
While you lovely people have been sending me tons of stuff in the mail? I’ve been busy grinding away at my real-life job. NC attempted to open back up in the wake of a pandemic, which is like using a condom with a hole in it. Because of this I’ve been working non-stop the entire month of june. I’m disastrously behind on everything here for the blog. It’s July 4th as of this writing-and this is the first day off I’ve had since the last bit of writing posted here.
I’ve been working on content-but papa splat has bills to pay too. That aside, that means this entry is going to be extra thick. In between turning screws and screaming at Windows 10, I’ve been…
Ahem.
Exercising my frustrations on your generosity. Thank you all so much. Seriously. The few moments I was able to steal away from work were spent writhing, bucking and coating things. I badly needed those endorphins. Due to the high volume of things sent, we’re going to make this as rapid fire as possible. There naturally will be one or two items that get some extra love. Let’s begin.
Big, Flappy Balls
Testicles are fucking weird, man.
My balls tend to hang low when I’m doing anything but jerking off. Then they disappear. I guess my dick feels a need to shift into maximum overdrive for aerodynamics or something. It’s a shame, really. The smack of balls against toys and partners has an undeniable appeal-especially if you’re into more primal kinks, like breeding.
So you can imagine my surprise to find out testicle stretchers are a thing. Like the cock pump, devices like this are “out of sight, out of mind” when it comes to considerations for me. That is almost entirely from lack of experience using such things. Like, I’m well aware of the market for kink at this point. But still. Testicle stretchers operate roughly the same way that cock rings do. They’re soft rubber that coils around a section of your skin. The “stretch” effect is very much temporary, and a by-product of the elasticity of skin.
I would have loved to try this product. Especially since the deviant that sent it came forward and was someone I was very comfortable with. But there was one, not so tiny problem:
My nuts were way too big. Even with the stretcher, erm, stretched I simply could not get my boys through the hole. I tried everything. Lube, angling, all the tricks. I finally gave up with a frown-until I realized I could flip the stretcher inside out. Doing so turned the stretcher into an incredibly affordable, discrete stroker that had intense ribbing! It was a delightful way to spend an afternoon and clean up was a snap.
If you’re looking for a testicle stretcher, remember: snug but not tight. And uh, you might want to purchase one IRL. That way you can get at least a base understanding of the sizes in relation to you.
Make it Clap
Tiddies.
Cock.
Balls.
For thousands of years, the four humors of getting off have lived in perfect harmony. Though we may all have our preferences, one can’t deny how incredibly appealing the human body is. It makes sense then that our toys reflect that. When a real partner simply isn’t available, facsimiles are really, really nice. More on this here.
As a member of the Ass Assembly, I was overjoyed to get one whole butt in the mail. Butts, be it that they are firm or have cellulite, be it that they’re smooth or hairy like mine, are nice. You can smack the, you can clap them. Kiss them, hug them, fall asleep on them. But most of all? You can make them jiggle by slapping your cock against them.
This particular unit did all that and more. It’s small enough to pick up with one hand, and is similar in texture/feel to the breasts I reviewed. It featured a vaginal and anal cavity which were pleasingly tight. Speaking as a performer as well, it looked fantastic on film. Similar to the mini sex doll I reviewed, with the right angle and lighting? You almost can’t tell it’s a toy. Plus, everyone loves seeing cum drip from a toy. Huge shout out to the deviant that sent this for giving me another “co-star” for the roster.
I know quite a few of you enjoy seeing tummies bulge as well. This toy is perfect for that. Smack it, clap it, and enjoy every moment of watching those cheeks part to take you.
Beautifully, Simply Devilish
Every now and then something catches me utterly by surprise. They arrive on my doorstep seemingly out of the aether. Their packaging, their design-every single detail seems built from the ground up to be a trick. This particular toy was no exception.
Usually when I produce videos for someone, I try very hard to be cocky. I talk my shit, as all men do. I tell the viewer how this could be them and more. But the thing with performing semi-live? The unexpected absolutely can and will occur. You can reduce the number of potential embarrassments. Get a tripod, a remote for your shutter. Make sure all your devices are charged. Proper lighting. Making sure the pets are in another room. But there can still come the moments that break your voice, that reveal just how much you’re enjoying the performance.
A simple clear tube did that to me. It’s the one on the right. Normally I would include an amazon link, but try as I might I simply can’t find the thing again. This means either it’s not in stock or it’s been totally pulled from the site. No idea. If one of you lovely lot find a link, let me know and I’ll edit it in.
See that design inside the tube? One end was more than wide enough to take me. But the other? It tapers down to one-third of an inch. While performing for the client, I decided to take the obvious and accommodating route first. While that particular end was wide enough, I grossly underestimated the sheer intensity of that interior. The ridges within are firm but pliable enough to take you. I broke mid-sentence, and the horny tom cat part of my brain took over. It told me to push as deeply as I could.
So I did.
At first, my head couldn’t push through the other side. Then I gave an extra thrust-and one hell of a moan as my glans popped through. I stood there bucking and fucking for several minutes before I got the bright idea to flip the unit. It’s so tiiiiight, I thought, it’s going to feel so fucking goo-
Oh, it most certainly did.
To the point I couldn’t even form words properly. I stood there, shuddering, bucking and fucking the toy for nearly twenty minutes. When I pulled out breathless, I jokingly told my client it was “the devil’s tube”.
Clean up was an absolute breeze, and seeing myself push and stretch the unit was a delight all it’s own. Massive thank you to the deviant that sent this in!
Sheathed up On A Thursday
While size and products that help it is something we’ve covered already, I’d like to reiterate what was said there:
There is nothing wrong with your cock. Your cock is totally valid and handsome and wonderful just the size it is. Most of the products designed to “enhance” your girth are more for play than anything else. But if seeing yourself bigger genuinely helps you? If seeing yourself busting out of your boxers makes a difference for your sexuality? Go for it.
If cock pumps are too scary for you and gas station dick pills remain way too sketchy, sheaths are an excellent way to get a few extra inches. Sheaths are strokers you “wear” while hard that stimulate your penis and typically feature a firmer, dildo-esque end intended for a partner. Think of it as a strap on for those with cocks. The one I linked arrived on my doorstep with a sizable care package from several deviants. I couldn’t help but laugh as I opened it, and read the note from the sender:
“IT’S MY DICK IN A BOX, HEY HEY!”
While I don’t consider myself “small”, I do think I’ve a people-pleasing penis. Pulling the toy from a simple white box, I became very aware of my size right away. The sheath in question featured a very, very fat cock (naturally, to accommodate the wearer inside) and massive balls. The “balls” in question were supposed to resemble butt cheeks. To me personally? I couldn’t help but think of Ray Ray Sugarbutt.
That’s certainly who I felt like trying to stuff the sheath inside my boxers.
Not all sheaths are designed to please both partners. This one however was a thrill to fuck and wear. What a shame that I didn’t have someone to smack it’s girth upon. Hrm, another time perhaps. The inside features a nice, ribbed cavity and is very accommodating for wearers of all sizes. The product description even details how you can stick a vibrator within the sheath for some solo fun.
I’m going to be totally honest here and say it’s been a long time since I stuck anything in my butt. I was incredibly intimidated at the very idea of trying to get this thing inside me. However, it was fun teasing my rim with it.
From a psychological standpoint as the wearer, I gotta say: I’m a fan. I’ll probably be adding a few other sheaths to my list in the future. Seeing this sizable cock barely fit in my clothes, much more hearing the meaty thwack of it in my palm was wonderful.
Phew!
That’s all for this entry. I’m very happy to say we’ll likely have another very soon as well. I’ve two toys sitting on my desk just waiting for my dick. Expect that either this week or next.
I would also like to personally thank everyone for sending me things to review, encouraging me and reminding me to take it easy. The last month has been a whirlwind of gas station food, insane heat and cursing at Windows. You all have been a tremendous boon to my mental health. Thank you for everything.
-j