Good morning, and welcome to Jack’s Sack, our sex toy review series. Did you miss the last one? You can get caught up here. Today, we’re going to discuss cock rings-what they are, what they do, and how best to use them.
A Perfect Circle
Hey, remember last time when I said I’m fucking terrified of having “hard” or “firm” things near my junk? Guess who is utterly incapable of ever learning a lesson, ever! If you assumed I was the kind of boy that had to stick his hand on a stove to know it was hot, you would be absolutely right!
I digress. The point is, after our last review, I decided maybe “firm” and “hard” things weren’t so bad. The Tenga Tetra 01 is a delightful device I’ve frequently used in the short time I’ve owned it. I’m happy to say that it’s ridges and coil have kept me very happy. The Tetra kicked the door open to maybe having similar turgid things near my cock. So bleary eyed and totally unable to sleep one night, I decided to delve into the world of cock rings.
For those that don’t know-it’s literally a thing you wrap around your cock. Usually it’s a circle made of silicone or rubber. You put it on while you’re flaccid, squeezing your bait and tackle into it. As you become aroused, the cock ring grows snug-and keeps you from cumming too quick, or cumming at all. It’s a beautifully simple thing compared to most toys, and comes in a variety of styles and materials. You can even improvise with stuff at hand so long as you don’t make it too tight.
I knew what a cock ring was getting into this. I’d seen them plenty of times in porn. I wasn’t aware of all the different styles, but I knew. If you’re even remotely adjacent to horny things, you’ve likely seen one. If you’ve ever wondered how a guys dong looks so veiny in porn, there’s a 50/50 chance it was either a pump or cock ring. Seriously.
But knowing isn’t doing, and I’m a man of action. I opted to add some cock rings to my wish list-and lo and behold, an extremely kind deviant decided to purchase them for me.
Thus began one of the most comedic moments I’ve had in porn, probably ever.
Humble Brags Versus Reality
As both a content creator and a human being, I find humility to be incredibly important. I constantly tell people hero worship is bad. I’m incredibly shocked every single day that people support what I do here. And when I need a reality check-I remind myself there are erotic roleplay accounts with tens of thousands of followers with patreons and kofis. Keeping yourself grounded is the most important thing anyone can do-doubly so when you’re a public figure. Being humble about literally everything I do is so ingrained into my personality that I’ll flat-out deny reality. I can’t take compliments, I can’t take praise even when the truth is staring my directly in the face.
As you read the next sentence, I want you to realize I’m still in disbelief about this. I’ll deny it until the grave takes me, regardless of all existing photographic evidence.
I got so fucking hard I busted out of my cock rings. I busted through fucking silicone, I got so damn horny and throbbin’.
No, this isn’t a lie or a tall tale. Yes, there’s pics. Yes, the people that have seen them have laughed and laughed. I thought it was the material at first-until I busted through the second one.
Oh yeah. There was a second one. I should probably mention that.
The cock rings in question I received were made of slightly stretchy silicone. They came in a three pack, with each having different sized segmented balls. They were more or less designed to be hypo-allergenic and disposable, and I’m okay with that. I feel as though this is becoming a very common trend in the toy industry. While the environmentalist side of me desperately wishes there was a more eco-friendly way, I get how this is likely the healthiest way to produce toys. And ya’ know-keep the market going.
Being that it was the first time I’d really used cock rings, I was relieved there was some give. I was also relieved they were made out of softer material. I opted to put on the one with the largest balls based on Twitter’s recommendation. I stretched it over my junk, and eased it around my base. I was really surprised at how comfortable it actually was! The vice grip of my balls I’d been expecting wasn’t there at all. Snug? Sure thing. But painful? Not at all. It was one of the few times I gave a chuckle and felt actually kinda sexy about myself. I slipped my fingers into the bag, and grabbed another ring.
It fit right in front of the other, and I felt myself breathe a little heavy. Wearing the cock rings felt good and normal, something I personally feel is very important in any activity involving our bodies. I was with a partner at the time, and as we started to enjoy each other’s company I noticed something.
Fuck, my dick felt heavy. I looked down, and was kind of taken back by how hard I looked. I certainly didn’t feel hard. Not even a little bit. I sure as shit looked the part though. As I stood there, watching my cock and talking with my partner, I felt a twitch. The tip of mycock started to sway on it’s own-and I gave a shudder as it rose.
I always tell people my cock isn’t big. Because to me, it’s not. It’s my dick, sure-but it’s just a dick, a lot like other dicks. Standing there getting hard with my rings on though, I had a tinkling of a thought in the back of my head. That maybe, just maybe the compliments people had given me about my body were right. I certainly looked plenty huge at the moment. Granted, it was because of the cock ring, but-
And that is when it happened. The first ring snapped as my cock gave a hard throb, then the next. I was in utter fucking disbelief. This was some hentai-tier shit-stuff like this didn’t happen to normie-dad bod dudes like me. So of course I shouted “The fuck?!”
My partner, concerned as to what was going on, asked. And when I told them, they laughed. When I told my friends, they laughed too. I’m still laughing about it days later. All that bluster, all that enjoyment-UNDONE BY MY FUCKING DICK. It’s a cruel parody on the hubris of man, that’s what the hell it is!
However, right up until that happened? I was really, really enjoying myself. Cock rings are pretty great, actually! I had fun wearing one, and my partner at the time seemed to enjoy the result. With one of the rings left, I decided to wait until the next day to try it out. While it didn’t have the snuggest fit, it still enclosed my balls really nicely. As I started to get hard, I noticed pre-cum was just dripping out of the end of my dick. Again, seriously hentai-tier shit that doesn’t normally happen to guys like me. This one thankfully didn’t snap, as I stretched it a bit before wrapping it around myself.
I really can’t put into words what the cum shot was like later, save I needed a towel.
Ring Around The Rosey Dick
From a comfort standpoint, I was very pleasantly surprised at how much I actually enjoyed my cock rings. It dispelled any myths about them I had in my head, and I’m eager to purchase a metal one now. Likewise, both my partners and I really seemed to enjoy what they did to me. So-some advice for those of you seeking one:
Don’t be afraid of the ring. They’re not going to hurt so long as you size them correctly. Keep in mind, your cock n’ balls both have to fit through the ring flaccid. “Snug” is good, “tight” while flaccid absolutely is not. Disposables are fine-just be aware of their limitations. Like any toy you own, be sure to clean these. Bodily fluids, sweat and more can breed bacteria on the surface of the toy. That can lead to everything from a funky smell to literal mold, or worse-swapping STIs. Literally nobody in the world wants to be near a crusty dick or toy.
Own a few of different sizes. While keeping comfort in mind, don’t be afraid to shop for different ones to try on. Maybe a little tighter will feel better! And if you’re into denial play, tighter can be hot. Looser can still be sexy and fun as well.
That’s all for today folks. Have a fantastic monday, and stay snug.
Wanna Keep Jack’s Sack going? Buy me a toy from my wishlist-and get pics if you want!